If next Saturday’s Red River Rivalry is to be elevated to a game of near-Biblical proportions, and one quarterback needs a touch of divine intervention to enter the game unbeaten, then it’s not Sam Bradford, the Sooner Messiah. Therefore, a spiritual and existential dilemma, potential scandal and mass confusion will present themselves this Saturday when Colorado hosts Texas, as many denominations of the Sooner-faithful will be praying for the Texas win.
If the Buffalos are winning late, and you catch yourself with hands clasped in supplication for the Longhorn comeback, don’t run to confession (a thorough scrubbing may be well-advised), but if you catch your right hand in the air with index finger and pinky erect, quickly refer to Matthew 5:30.
Whoever said, “Religion is dead” clearly hasn’t experienced Oklahoma football.
Barry's lucky he threw that thing up lefty.
Since the Sooner Dudes will require all appendages in tact for double-fisting Mini Chicken-Fried Steak Sliders less than two weeks from now, this unholy trinity of OU die-hards will assuredly not be found repeating Barry Switzer’s notorious sin. But an unbeaten Texas does make for a more complete Texas State Fair experience — consider it “more bang for your coupon.” And at 15 coupons for a Miller Light in this economy, who can afford to mess around?
For the price of a Mini Chicken-Fried Steak Slider, you'd expect them to be frying up Bevo himself.
There is precedence, Sooner fans, for aligning yourselves with the Enemy. Remember back to the ’05 season, when Will Ferrell’s Trojans matched up against Matthew McConaughey’s Longhorns for the national title.
Throw Matt Leinart, Reggie Bush, Pete Carroll, Vince Young and Mack Brown into this shameful production and you had yourself a veritable Who’s Who of “**** You.” And without condoning such behavior under ordinary circumstances, many allowed the Big XII homer inside us to prevail (immediately refer to 1 John 1:9).
Once more I will take refuge in said purification and, for the first time since that fateful January night, send my best wishes to Mack Brown.
But if your conscience is burdened after Saturday’s game, find comfort that seven days later you will, with all due respect to “The King,” be flashing the horns in their rightful position, pointed down to the fiery pits from whence they came. Should you then worry what the Sooners did to the Horns on the field must somehow be in violation of the Ten Commandments, you can always pass the collection plate at your local church for the official philanthropy of the University of Texas:
Erectile Dysfunction.
H**k ‘em.
The 2009 Sooners are going to have to play their hearts out on the road in order to make it back to the BCS National Championship Game. OU plays against eight teams who went bowling in 2008, and only two of those games (Tulsa and Oklahoma State) come within the confines of the Gaylord Family Oklahoma Memorial Stadium, where the Sooners are one win away from tying their all-time longest winning streak at 25.
