OU GQ: The Gear Guy
According to my wife, my lawyer, and at least two high school recruits I befriended on Facebook, I like the Sooners too much. They may have valid arguments. However, you won’t find me at the office or out with friends festooned in the signature OU paper clip. That’s because equally as critical as knowing what to wear is knowing when to wear it. One quickly develops a reputation as the guy who’s always wearing his team’s “gear.” If this is you, listen up and act quickly.
Step 1: Mind your surroundings.
You’re like those parents that won’t take their screeching child out of the theater. Train yourself to be self-aware. Ask yourself if the sharpest dressed man around you is draped in a logoed sweater (which I’m sure you own). Your sartorial objective as an adult man is to draw attention to yourself in a pleasing and subtle way. Trust me that this won’t happen as long as you’re parading your city in Sooners flip-flops.
Step 2: Retire that OU button-down.
It seemed like a great idea when you saw it on the clearance rack at Bedlam Zone (not the one on Broadway just north of the turnpike, the much trashier one inside Crest across from Santa Fe High School). I promise you, however, that there is no time or place in which wearing this garment is socially desirable. And no, the office is no place to broadcast your fanaticism to the masses. Strike up a friendly banter with the Poke in the adjacent cubicle and leave it at that.
Step 3: Ditch the accessories.
Under no circumstance are you to have a collegiate accessory near your person. This includes, but is not limited to: Ties, belt-buckles, watches, wristbands, cufflinks, croakies, socks, shades, necklaces or jewelry of any other kind. Execute Step 3 with diligence. You’ll thank me later.
The Style Dude Endorses…
Just because you shouldn’t accessorize yourself, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t accessorize your beverage. OU koozies are accepted, even recommended, for those hot early-season tailgate parties.
Left to Right:
Classic Foam, $2.99, available at amazon.com.
Zipper Bottle Suit, $6.94, available at koozeekingdom.com.
The Bottle Jersey, $5.99, available at fansedge.com.
The Style Dude welcomes your questions. Send him one with a comment below, or email soonerdudes@gmail.com.
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